February 2012
Don’t like the way I feel……
In so much pain…..I just want it to stop hurting…..please…
Not even a little sad I missed the outing today, just a little dissappointed…..
:-)
I still miss you….
So many things I want to say, but I just can’t find the words….
Still can’t shake it….
Hand is so swollen and sore…..can’t believe she called out…been busy all morning and being with one hand….and it’s not even my good hand fuck my life
Some days it feels like drowning, and days like today, I just don’t feel like trying to fight it…
Keep holding in, cause we’re gonna make it through…
I wish there was something I could say to let him.know it isn’t his fault. People fall out of love, it happens……I’m not mad, or upset, nor do I blame him. His happiness is what matters most. He needs to do fir himself. He has been taking care of me for too long I.feel…and I wish there was someway to repay him….I just want him to.live a happy healthy life.
I may...
Can’t do this anymore…
Going to look into what it would take to go to my dream town…
Without you-steel magnolia=gpoy…
Can’t do this much longer…
God I hate you…
Tonight was supposed to be easy, but no Jordan had to go fuck it up, I was supposed to be able to go home early, fuckin ridiculous, just do your damn job and stop throwing hissy fits, I do your job half the time and I don’t bitch about it, you at least make tips for bussing tables, I don’t, so stfu and get over yourself, stop being lazy you dumb ass.
I just don’t know…
I really want to go to the snow, maybe I’ll go up Sunday after work, hopefully it’s still there.
Kept waking up all night long! Hopefully I can squeeze in a nap between jobs, so freaking tired..
So beautiful and overcast outside……miss the old days…
Love and Other Drugs=Gpoy...
My stupid iPhone is on shuffle and only playing the few love songs on it, like it wants to make me feel like crap, rude..oh well, looking forward to getting off work and cooking and cleaning,
Have no words to say how I really feel, so I won’t even try..
…
I don’t wanna go in there…..going to be a crazy night hopefully with Angeline’s help I won’t lose my mind!!
Happy he’s getting some rest but am worried about him being alone again, even though I know he’ll be fine I still worry
So freakin tired, and my day is only half done…
Feeling incredibly nauseous today, but can’t throw up…on top of that totally forgot to put oil in my car so it keeps screaming at me, I don’t know who’s closing the store tonight since no one is listed, all the tour de palm springs people are incredibly rude, and I’m worried about him not having an arm and I’m not going to be home most of the day…..thank...
Feel so bad for him that he dislocated his shoulder! Hopefully he feels better soon, he freakin hates not being able to do everything for himself! He’s stubborn, but gotta love him..
Can’t believe I got that drunk and that we had to call him and wake him up…and now he hates me, which to be honest I hate myself right now…there’s no way to make up for it and I know he’s most likely not going to want to go to that dance tonight..I fucking deserve it after yesterday…I just always know how to fuck things up..
“I have no doubt that I will love you, forever….”
Trust no one and do for yourself….learning that needs to be my new motto….god I need a drink…
Knew I was right…
Throwing up blood today….great…
I heard Jesus he drinks wine and I bet we’d get along just fine..
Feeling really good about being able to pay off some of my credit card debt, now going to fix my car and put aside some money for my tattoo and then try and give as much of it as I can to my roommate…..and figure out how to just leave him alone, I am smothering him…..I’m not doing it intentionally, I just miss him and us….but that’s obviously no longer on the table so...
Biting my tongue…
Can’t do this much longer….I’m so burnt out it’s ridiculous I need a break….I couldn’t even see the one person I wantedto see today…
No matter how much I’ve been through, I will always be that shy little girl that is inscure about her weight and her looks, and the fact that she’s taller than everyone, and has a red face, and isn’t pretty, and no one wants to be her friend, and no one wants to date her, and she cries herself to sleep most nights, and will never find her place in this world, it will never stop...
I don't understand
I know it shouldn’t get to me this much but it really hurt for him to call me a fat cunt…..I work so hard on trying to lose weight and it seems like nothing really works……and when I called my best friend he didn’t answer….I know it’s not his job to answer my hysterical phone calls anymore but he’s still supposed to be my best friend….and he...
Circus life, under the big top world, we all need the clowns to make us smile…
